The Mother’s Chronicles: Am I still a teenager?



I’m having a “ladies’ brunch” with the Junior in the city;

– something we’ve agreed on doing from time to time, in order to avoid spending Sundays in pajamas, re-running Marvel movies or Modern Family.

Today it’s the pancakes. The food is served and I’m totally excited as I was withholding this piece of information since I’ve found out last night. I was just waiting for the perfect moment to share it.

And now, I’m finally ready to impress my almost teenage daughter with the spiciest rumor in the hood.

/if we count the online world of gossips as “the hood”, that is/

– Aleks, do you know… – dramatic pause – that Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber are back together?

She freezes with a fork halfway between the plate and her mouth.


“Mom, are you for real?”

– Yes, I’m for real! There are pictures on the Internet already and…

– I mean… How do YOU know about that? – she asks, with a very distinctive accent on “you”

Hmmm…now this is bit awkward. I feel like I got caught red-handed on my little addiction.

“What will sound better?” I wonder:

“Because I saw it accidentally online and wanted to bond with you over a teenagery topic”


“Because I’m a recovering ‘celebrity gossips’ addict, who once knew everything about everyone but has decided to ‘become clean’ years ago, yet from time to time still slips into her old addiction”?

I go for “the middle way” explanation:

“Well, yesterday I’ve “accidentally” seen this interview with Kim Kardashian…”

– Did you watch Kim Kardashian???



I’m drowning.

So here’s the thing.

My daughter loves Taylor Swift. Taylor is not on good terms with Kim, due to her nearly a decade-long and still ongoing dramatic feud with Kanye West (Kim’s husband).

/I know how this sounds, but I said I’m recovering from my addiction – not that I’m fully recovered/

The bottom line is: watching anything related to Kim is like stabbing Taylor in a back.

Take a deep breath, Anna. You got this.

– Yes, but let me explain. I watched an interview with Kim, but mainly because it was done by Jennifer Lawrence and…

– Who?

– The Raven

– What raven?… A bird?

– No! Mystique from X-men

– Aaa… that cool actress! I like her

Thank you, Lord. That was a near-miss.

– Exactly! So I was watching Jennifer…meaning Mystique… interviewing Kim and then they’ve mentioned that Justin and Selena are back together…

– But isn’t Selena with The Weekend?

– Apparently not anymore! – I burst out in pure excitement – They broke up! Can you imagine?

– Mom…- my daughter interrupts with “hold your horses” tone of the voice – I don’t want to sound mean or anything but you are acting a bit like a teenager…

– Oh… – I sigh, trying to figure out if it’s a bad thing or a good thing

– But I like it! – she adds straight away – Sometimes it’s just too much of these heavy topics, like ‘what’s the sense of life’ and stuff… I like when you are more like… like…

– …like you?

– No, not really… Like… those teenagers that follow celebrities, you know? And they search for information on the internet and then they gossip about it and they get super excited. But it’s really cool!

Awesome, I guess. Looks like I may be still a teenager trapped in an adult body.


On a way home, Aleks suddenly goes out of nowhere

– Mom, don’t you think “It ain’t me”, is kind of wasted now?

– What?

– You know, that song that Selena recorded about finally getting over Justin?

At first I’m confused but then I recall how back in the summer we’ve heard “It ain’t me” in the radio and she asked me what is the song all about; I’ve decided to use it as an opportunity to give my daughter a little lecture about relationships and used Justin & Selena as an example.

I’ve naturally had to educate myself on Jelena and the timeline of their turbulent relationship online… but surprise, surprise, I wasn’t really bothered by it.

/honestly, my daughter lost interest after two hours, but I continued my research for three more evenings… in the name of “science”, of course,/

– Why do you think the song is wasted?

– Wasn’t it supposed to be like the final goodbye?

– Well yeah, but Selena actually denied it and said she completely moved on from him

– But she didn’t completely move on, now didn’t she? – Aleks responds and winks at me.

With a cheeky smile.


I started to laugh. Who taught you the cheeky smile, dear?

It ain’t me  ;)